Years ago, someone told me that our successes and failures are not entirely our own. Society is equally responsible for both, and we should always keep this in mind. I first understood this when I went to Banaras Hindu University to begin my undergraduate studies in 2009. During the first two physics lectures, our professor enlightened us about the history of our university and the efforts of several individuals, working both in isolation and in cooperation, to erect this edifice. That narration impressed upon me the immensity of Pandit Malaviya's initiative and his efforts to bring his vision to life.
We are humans only in relation to society. Our existence has no value in isolation. Society influences us in both subtle and coarse ways, and in turn, we too leave our mark, however insignificant. In my case, the influences of society were most prominently manifested through individuals whom I like to call 'friends.'
I consider myself extremely lucky to have a wonderful set of friends. My closest friends are from my BHU days, and it had to be that way. That was a time when we were transitioning into adulthood from teenage, and the phenomenon of coming of age collectively leaves an indelible mark on the rest of our lives. Surely, a few years down the line, we might laugh at our naivety and ignorance from that time, but we had an amazing time back then. I have always considered friendship to be the most sacred of all human relations, even a notch above the most intimate familial bonds. It is something for which we make a conscious choice, and if we don't seriously respect our choice, that says something about our own character. Friendship shouldn't have an ideological basis. If that is the case, that bond will break apart at the very first sign of divergence. I have a colorful set of friends. There has to be certain similarities to sustain a friendship. That could be anything, ranging from a shared liking for a particular thing to appreciating the movie Four Lions.
I have always deeply cared about the well-being of my friends, and their successes—according to the parameters they set for themselves—have made me immensely happy.
I have four sets of mutually exclusive friends—early childhood, school, BHU, and IISER Mohali—with a few fleeting overlaps among the sets because of physics. I have always been fiercely loyal to my friends, and in turn, I expect their loyalty. I can't let go of even a minor contravention in the unwritten tenets of friendship. Whenever any breach has occurred, I have subtly distanced myself from that friend. It has become fairly easy for me to walk away from people. I don't like that, but I have come to identify it as my strength. Maybe it aids in self-preservation.
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
- William Blake
मैं बुझ गया तो हमेशा को बुझ ही जाऊँगा
कोई चराग़ नहीं हूँ कि फिर जला लेगा
— वसीम बरेलवी
